Friday, March 11, 2011

I love this:)

Could life be any sweeter?

Its safe to say that Rutledge is still OBSESSED with his brother:)
This pic was taken last weekend when we escaped to the beach for a couple of days.  Uncle Rut and Aunt Jo were kind enough to let us stay in their condo at Orange Beach.  The weather was bad but that didn't matter.  We really just needed to get out of the house, have a change of scenery and eat some seafood!
We accomplished all of those things!

Here is the recipe for the A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. shrimp dish Matt and I made for supper while at the beach!
Hands down one of the top 10 meals of my far:)

You will not be sorry!
Also!  I would not recomend substituting any of the butter for margerine....does anyone still use that junk anymore?  You know its 1 molecule away from being plastic right?  Srsly, if you are going to do it, do it right!  This is not a fancy dish, its perfect to serve to friends because you have to get your hands dirty while peeling your shrimp.  We served this with a yummy baquette and roasted asparagus....Matt set out forks but we ate everything with our hands.  It was that good.
I can't wait to order some shrimp from Destin Connection and make it again!

Trauma for the Mama

Have you ever had a picture in your head of how things should be and how things should go?
I have that picture alot.
If I were being really honest, I would have to say that I have that picture entirely too much.

If you remember my 1 month post on Gaines on 2.11.11, you will recall that I had the stomach virus the weekend before his 4th week.  I thought that I was recovered and that I was getting my breastmilk supply back.  Well, guess what actually happened....I really didn't get my supply back.  What I thought was a growth spurt in the days following my virus was actually Gaines not getting enough to eat and my body not producing enough to keep him satisfied, so, he wanted to eat every hour on the hour.  This went on for a good week before I realized what was happening.....During this week, Uncle Bob died.  This emotional upset more than likely also contributed to my loss of supply.

Its a really strange feeling to be told that you produce enough milk to feed triplets and then not have enough for one babe.  I did everything I could reasonably do to get my supply back.  I talked with a couple of lactation consultants who were somewhat helpful.  They were really sympathetic to my situation and did confirm that a dehydrating illness will decrease milk supply but coupled with the emotional upset would make it really hard to get my supply back.  They recomended that I ask my OBGYN for a perscription of Reglan.  I called my OB to tell her what was going on and after further discussion, we decided that it wasn't for me.  The side effects are anxiety, lethary, agitation, extreme tiredness, depression, etc.  On a personal note, I have a predisposition for depression and runs on both sides of my family and I had a little issue with the baby blues after Rutledge was born and my Dr. and I didn't think that any of those symptoms needed to be amplified.  I also talked with my general practitioner about this and he completely agreed with my OB.  I agreed with both of my Dr's.   

I think this was the hardest decision I've ever made....I could have taken this drug and gotten my milk back.  But, I don't think I could have handled the side effects along with everyday life! 

I had such a wonderful breastfeeding experience with Rutledge that I just knew that I would have the same with Gaines.  I just KNEW it.  Now I know that God is in control and there are some things that just need to be left up to Him.  I did the best I could for my baby and for myself and I know in my heart that taking that medication was NOT best for me. 

It still doesn't help the fact that I want to feed my baby.
I think that I had so much tied up into that one single mothering act that I lost sight of the other great things about motherhood.  This experience definitely knocked my ego down a few pegs but I think I'm going to get past this....eventually, because now I know that every breastfeeding experience is different...and that's ok.  I also think that I'm not as judgemental...yes, I said it.  I'm judgemental when it comes to breastfeeding.  I judged mama's who, in my opinion, really didn't give breastfeeding a real shot.  Breastfeeding is a choice and life is all about choices.  Sometimes breast isn't best for every baby.  Sometimes breast isn't best for the mama.  Sometimes mama's aren't educated about breastfeeding and sometimes they just plain don't want to.  And you know what?  All of those reasons are ok.  They really are ok.

I guess the most important thing I've learned is that I'm still a good mama.  I didn't need to tie so much of my self-worth into this one act.  And, while its a wonderful, life sustaining act and extremely selfless....its not the only thing you will ever do for your child.  Its not the best thing you will ever do for your child. 

I just keep telling myself this....
I have a healthy baby.
I have a healthy baby and he is well fed, even though its not the way I prefer.

So, how is Gaines doing on the bottle?  It took a good week for him to accept the bottle and decent feedings.  He lost a little weight but quickly gained it back, so that's good.

What have I learned about bottle feeding?  Its much easier to breastfeed a newborn.  Dealing with bottles and mixing up formula, and all that goes with it is just a hassle!  The positive is that I don't have to breastfeed my baby hunched in the backseat of my Tahoe before heading into Target;)

To continue with my saga....I also have to report that Matt and I had a HORRIBLE case of bronchitis.  During that sickness, BOTH boys came down with Type A flu.  Gaines had to spend 1 night in the hospital at Baptist South.  It was really scary but typical when you have a babe that young...they just slap you into the hospital.  So, while all of this was going on in a 2 week span.....stomach virus, Uncle Bob dying, Bronchitis, flu, I thought I was going to lose my mind.  I didn't know if we were going to make it....I kind of sunk into the depths of despair.  I hadn't recovered my strength after the stomach virus when I got Bronchitis and having a newborn on top of that was almost too, it was too much. 

Its scary when both parents are sick and both babes are sick.
But, we survived and we are stronger as a family.

Now, that you have heard all of my "mama trauma" I bet you are exhausted!
But, I had to document all of this because it shows what we have overcome!

2 Months Old!

Sweet Brother Man is 2 months old today!
I honestly cannot believe he has been with us for 2 whole months.
Our lives are definitely richer for it and for that we are grateful.

This pic of Gaines was taken today on the day he is 2 months old!

At 2 months, Gaines is hitting all of his developmental milestones and is still a great baby!
He has a wonderful temperment and seems to love being with us...although, I think he still prefers his mama to anyone else:)  As well he should!

We went to his 2 month appointment this morning and here are the stats!
Weight: 11 lbs 14 oz
Length: 22 7/8 inches long
Head: 16 1/4 inches

An interesting fact is that Gaines weighs exactly what Rutledge weighed at his 2 month appt:)
I haven't checked the length yet....although, Matt says that the way babies are measured for length, there's no way any baby is given an accurate length.  For those that don't have kids, kids (birth to age 2)  are placed on the table (with paper covering), a mark is made at the top of their head and then the nurse stretches that little leg and makes another mark at their heel.  With all of that wiggling and paper shifting, its not exactly an exact science.  Our pediatrician confirmed this for Matt;)

I'll close this post with another pic of Gaines.  FYI, the pursing of the lips and scrunching of the forhead is a classic Matt Rogers face....Rutledge makes the exact same face and has since he was born.  They make this face when they are working on somethin', thinkin' about somethin', or wonderin' what the heck mama is thinkin' when she does somethin' crazy!
Lurd, he looks like that Daddy and that brotha!

I have some MAJA posting to catch up on.  We have had some TRAUMA up in this household....stay tuned!